Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Getting Teenagers To Talk

A sullen, non-communicative teenager. A frustrated parent.

Is that the way it is in your home living with your teenager?

Parenting teenagers is a demanding job, no doubt about it. Teens have the natural ability to challenge us on every level. Whereas once they simply accepted our authority as parents, no more.

Many parents fight against this normal developmental phase. As a result, their homes become tense battlegrounds as they stand ready to defend their positions at a moment's notice. Usually, in this environment, a teen starts out yelling and ends up silent.

Because he or she has found somewhere else where their voice can be heard. And appreciated.

While some teen frustrations are firmly rooted in parenting issues from the child's younger years, if you have an otherwise well-adjusted teenager who simply has stopped talking to you, there are practical things you can do that will help.

I am currently parenting my third teenager and these communication tips are what we use in our home everyday to keep talking alive and well.

-- Listening comes first.

Trite but true, your teenager will tune you out if you never *really* listen to what she has to say.

You want to get your teen's attention? Then learn to listen with your whole being. Use your body language and lean closer when he's talking. Make eye contact. Repeat back what you hear so you're sure you understand every ounce of what your teenager is telling you. Ask clarifying questions. Empathize. Give him your undivided attention (no cell phones, newspapers, no half-hearted 'uh-huh's').

In other words, listen to your teen the way you wish you were listened to.

If you do this one step regularly, your teen will seek you out, yearning to talk to you.

Imagine that.

-- Respect is king.

It's easy to be condescending when parenting teenagers. As parents, we know more than they do, right? We've been around the block numerous more times than they have. Heck, compared to them, we are wise!

However, here's the real deal. If teens don't feel respected by us, they don't accept our influence.

And all that wisdom goes down the drain.

That fact is not limited to teenagers, by the way. That's the way we're all wired as human beings. And it helps a lot to remember your teen is perilously close to being an adult and feeling the way adults do. Your teenager is not all grown up yet, but close enough to give you clues as to what they need.

Like respect. Earn their respect and they will trust you with their lives.

-- Teamwork means everything.

Teenagers often feel like they're carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. It's easy for us who are parenting teenagers to look at their day-to-day lives and say, "that's nothing! Wait until you have MY responsibilities!" But what we as parents forget, is that our teen is new at these types of responsibilities. So problems that we can see obvious solutions to, our teens find overwhelming. Challenges that would slide off our backs, they get lost in.

As a person, it's humiliating to admit you're overwhelmed and lost. So you don't. And neither does your teen.

Teamwork changes that. For example, a parent who's noticing their teen is struggling with academics has two choices. Yelling (ever noticed how often yelling works?). Or leading the way providing training on how to make a positive change.

A parent could say something like "I see you're finding your current schoolwork challenging. That's good because it means you have the chance to learn something new here. I have some methods that have worked for me when dealing with challenging work and I'd be glad to show them to you. When's a good time for you?"

For some teens, that conversation is all they need in order to acknowledge they need help. Others will take more coaxing. Still, the point is valid. Don't just tell them what to do...work with them, empathize with their frustration, show them how to set a goal, overcome obstacles and come out the other side. Then celebrate with them. They've earned it! And you've earned their respect.

-- Show them you understand...them.

While parenting teenagers, we often lecture as opposed to discuss. That's only natural for us as parents. Usually we can see their glaring error in judgment and we realize it's our duty to correct them.

Right idea. Wrong method.

Humility works big time with teenagers. Have you ever made a mistake that your teen seems to also be making? Probably more frequently then you would like to admit. Well, admit it. When you explain the boundaries you are placing on their behavior, let your past example (mistake) be the "here's what I've learned from this problem myself" part of the conversation.

Believe me, you'll have their attention when you admit to not having it all together. 'Cuz guess what. Everyday your teen ACTS like he has it all together to cover up the fact that he KNOWS he doesn't have it all together. And he's worried and scared.

Your admission you've been where he is and you found a way out will be welcome news. That you cared enough about him to share your vulnerabilities won't be lost on him, either.

Obviously, this parenting tip only applies to age and situation-appropriate confessions. But do you get the point here? Your teen is longing for someone who knows her and is willing to be on her side. Ideally that needs to be you.

Parenting teenagers effectively means building relationships with them, listening when it's convenient for them (not you), working with them to help them overcome challenges, earning their respect so it's YOU they think of when they need to talk.

This will take patience, an open heart, thick skin and daily time. Things that all prove to your teenager that you think they're worth it.

And they are.

About the Author: Colleen Langenfeld has been parenting for over 26 years and helps other moms enjoy mothering more at
http://www.paintedgold.com/. Learn more today about parenting teenagers at http://www.paintedgold.com/Kids/parenting-teenager.html.

Special Offers from Hotel Chocolat

Labels: , , , , , ,

Stumble It!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

3 Gifts We Must Give Our Children

Parenting is the most difficult, the most challenging, and the most important job we will ever have. So many of our children's future successes and problems can stem from our success as parents. Yet fortunately we do not have to go it alone. We can learn from the successful parents around us, if we are fortunate including our own parents, and also learn from those less successful as well. In addition, we can learn many important lessons about parenting from our own children. If we only listen and pay attention they tell us so much about what they want and need from us as parents. While we can so often get caught up in the little details and daily grind of parenting, if we keep sight of three main goals then the rest will take care of itself. All our children really need from us are these three all-important gifts: our love, our care, and our time.

Love is the easiest and yet the most overlooked of the gifts we must give our children. We love our children. It is such an overwhelming emotion for us that we often forget that our children may not realize its depth and breadth. It is true for many of us that we did not realize how much our parents love us until we too became parents. Demonstrate through your actions and choices that you love your children. Show them and tell them how much you care. Do this with little gestures and big ones and do it every day. One certainty our children should possess as they grow and develop is that they are loved as this gives them a foundation and confidence that nothing else can.

Care is something we do all the time, so much so that it is often on autopilot. Folding clothes, picking up toys, packing lunches, and washing dishes. One of the ways to cope with these tasks is to put them in perspective. These boring, repetitive tasks are one of the ways we care for our children and by doing them we are showing our care. But do not neglect the emotional and cognitive care along with the physical care. It is easy while making sure our children are fed, clothed, and washed to overlook the emotional care and cognitive care children also need. Teach your child how to handle emotions like fear and jealousy by talking things through and modeling good emotional behavior. Make sure your child is challenged intellectually through conversation, games and books.

Time is the most precious of all gifts and yet so many parents short their children of their time. Time is spent at work and at various life activities from home maintenance to recreation, but simply giving your child the gift of your time and attention every day can reap tremendous rewards. Giving your child your time and attention is the surest way to demonstrate to your child that he or she is loved. You can multi-task while spending time with your child if the task is something that the child can be involved in or adjacent to -- and the task is something mindless so you can focus on the child. For example, children can help with household chores or can talk or read to you while you fold laundry or wash dishes. Simply making a point of spending time with your child every day where your primary focus is on the child can reap tremendous rewards today and tomorrow.

There are no perfect parents, so striving for perfection is setting yourself up for failure. All you can do is try your best and give your child the gifts of love, care, and time. If you do then you will be a good parent. It really is that simple.

About the Author: Renaissance Woman Deanna Mascle shares more parenting tips in her blog at http://renaissancewomanonline.com

StubHub.com - The Safe Way to Buy & Sell Tickets Online

Labels: , ,

Stumble It!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

5 Tips To Teaching Your Children Good Spending Habits

Something interesting to share about my niece. She just started preschool this year and her school is about 10-15 minutes walk away from home. My sister considered letting her takes the school bus to school everyday and then thought otherwise; since she is not working anyway, she can walk her daughter to school every morning. One morning my sister asked my niece if she wants to take the school bus to school and my niece replied, "Mommy, since you are not working, we should not waste money on the school bus. We can walk to school every morning and we can exercise too." Can you believe that she is only 4 this year? Don't you agree that she is such a darling.

I agree with the author's point on "Learn to Earn", meaning to teach them not to take money for granted and that money is something that is earned. I also second the last point on "The Cash Stash." I remembered reading about something similar to this point in the book, The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason. In his book, it was mentioned that one should always keep a part of what one earned. And not only that, one must learn how to properly managed this money that is put away and make this money grow.


If you are one of many who believe that children really do imitate what they see, then it’s important to start early in teaching your youngster to practice good spending habits. When he/she matures and enters college or the workforce, the habits that they learned as a child will remain with them through adulthood.

Learn to Earn.

When they are young, it’s important that children learn to earn their money through chores and other similar activities. Whether it’s a lemonade stand or helping the neighbor to plant a garden, it’s a good idea to teach children that money is something that is earned and not given freely. If an individual learns the value of a dollar early, he/she may be less likely to participate in frivolous spending later on.

Saving for Tomorrow.

When it comes to the latest doll or video game, children often have a large wish list. With the exception of holidays, birthdays and other gift-giving occasions, it’s important that a child learn to save his/her money for the things that are high on their list of wants. You can either match their payment for an item, which means they come up with 50% of the purchase price and you match that with the other 50%, or you can suggest layaway. Either way, your child will learn that saving their money is a good way to get the things that are important to them. Later in life, this may help them to avoid debt by excessive spending on items that they may not be able to afford.

The Perks of Prepaid.

Whether it’s a prepaid cell phone or credit card, it’s a good idea to teach your mature child how to prepare themselves for independence. Even with years of learning the proper spending habits, a young adult is faced with many challenges upon entering the ‘real world.’ As they prepare for college or the workforce, it may be a good idea to explore the world of prepaid cell phones and credit cards. This will regulate his/her phone calls, which will prevent an excessive phone bill and will also teach discipline in how phone time is used. A prepaid credit card will teach a young adult to spend only within their means and to stretch their dollars as much as possible.

The Debt Dilemma.

Teach your child the potential concerns dealing with credit cards, high interest rates and the importance of maintaining a good credit score by paying their bills on time and not spending unnecessarily. Without the proper credit history, obtaining a future home or auto loan may be difficult or even impossible.

The Cash Stash.

Teach your child to save a portion of his/her allowance, earnings or other money with the help of a savings account. If your child can learn to tuck away 20% of their incoming cash, this trend will likely follow them throughout adulthood. A good rule of thumb is to have enough savings to carry you through six months, which could be needed as a result of an illness, relocation or job layoff. For these and other reasons, it’s a good idea to save money whenever possible.

It’s never too early to start instilling good spending and saving habits into your child’s behavior. Throughout his/her life, these tendencies will play a large role and you can take great pride in knowing that you prepared your child for a prosperous financial future.

The information contained in this article is designed to be used for reference purposes only. It should not be used as, in place of or in conjunction with professional financial and/or parenting advice or recommendations.

Read also Teaching Your Kids Good Money Skills

About the Author: Leslie Gerard consults for a http://www.gokidsfurniture.com and a hobby shop offering children's toys at http://www.moveablemodels.com/shop/pedal-cars-c-2.html

Labels: , , , ,

Stumble It!

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Cooking With Your Children Can Teach Them Confidence And New Skills

Cooking with children? Hold it! Did I hear you wrongly? You heard me right and this is what this article that I read is all about. Most people will regard the kitchen as not a safe place for children; sharp knives, boiling water, fire etc. Even for me, it was a straight 'NO' to children in the kitchen before. To certain extent, the kitchen is indeed one of the places in the house where children must be kept out - especially when there are no adults around. Some may say, "I don't want them to mess up my kitchen. Hold your horses now. Before you make a firm decision whether or not you should cook with children, probably you want to read this article.

Personally I agree with the author that cooking with children is a good way to teach them about good and healthy food and which are the food to avoid or to consume less. What will be a better way to teach them about healthy food then a personal hands on experience for them. With you around looking after them, you can ensure their safety.Cooking with children can also teach them to be responsible. I have previously posted an article, 'Gardening with Children' that mentioned about teaching children responsibilities through garden.

Not only that, I am sure it will be a great bonding activity with your children and at the same time, it can give their confidence a great boost. Just remember to always practice extra care and cooking with children can very well be an enjoyable experience for both you and your children.


If you're not a natural cook who has a passion for experimenting with food and you don't go crazy about having the right kitchen utensils and equipment in your kitchen, then cooking is probably something you feel you have to do and if someone else offers to cook for you or you can eat out, you're more than happy to do the latter two options. Because cooking can be a real chore if you're not that fussy about what you eat and how it's cooked. However, if you have children you not only have to do it every day but you also have to think about their well-being in terms of what's healthy for them. Have you thought about cooking with your children?

When you think about cooking with children, you would more likely come up with special occasion scenarios where your kids will help you with putting the buttons on the ginger bread men while they try to lick the chocolate sauce - like in the movies. But to cook with them every day sounds almost a scary feat. You don't have to do it every day but try once a week and see how many days you and your children can handle.

Okay, granted, the cooking process would take a little longer and depending on how co-operative and helpful your children are, it could be frustrating at times. But managed properly, cooking could possibly be a more enjoyable experience for you and a more educational experience for your kids. It's also a way to connect with your children making a mundane chore into a sharing experience.

If you can get your children interested, they'd naturally become curious and ask you lots of questions. And if they do, take this cooking experience with them as an opportunity to teach them about which foods are good and healthy and which foods should be used or eaten moderately. The fact that the obesity rate of children are at a high in the United States and other prospering countries is another good reason to make sure your children gets a good head start by explaining to them why it's better to use Extra Virgin olive oil in cooking or eating salad is better than having sugary desserts every night not only sets an example but also gives them the logic behind why you dish out certain types of foods.

Whilst cooking, your children can help you with measuring quantities of various food stuff that you're using and if you can devise a game where your child can help you count solid foods before peeling and asking them to add more or take some away will help them to become more confident at counting. You'd be able to entertain the younger children and educate them at the same time. The older children would find measuring liquids in a jug or flour on a scale a little more challenging especially if you ask them to halve the quantity or double it. Even some adults still find that sort of task challenging. Sometimes providing a little incentive, something that they can win can make them ever so excited to go along with the cooking games.

If your games are devised in a way that makes it so that your children gets things right most of time, this encourages them more to participate in the cooking process making it easier for you and making them more confident about speaking up, joining in and build on their arithmetic and creative abilities.

At the end of all the cooking, praise them for what they've done, show them what their contribution in the cooking process has created. Let them feel as though they were responsible for making dinner for you and your partner which will further help their confidence, build their sense of pride about contributing within the family. And when eating the food, the fact that everyone is enjoying the food they help made really gives them a sense of accomplishing something worthwhile. Of course, you get to feel like you've been a good mother!

About the Author: Penny Roberts writes articles for various websites. The Little Cookbook is one of them. http://www.thelittlecookbook.com

Check out our special offers at SkinStore.com!

Labels: , , , , ,

Stumble It!

Friday, February 15, 2008

When Kids Lie

An interesting article. Although I might not agree with it totally, it gave me a new perspective and thought about kids lying. Like most people, when I see my 4 years old niece lying, I will do my best to explain to her why it is not good to lie so on and so forth. Come to think of it, there are indeed positive points to note on kids lying if we see from another perspective. As mentioned in the article, when the kid is lying, it shows that the kid understands the situation and the rules (like certain things he/she cannot do) and thus it may not be such a bad thing.

One thing that has definitely come across my mind is that the world itself does not appear as just black and white; it is full of colors. Even as adult, there are a lot of time when we have challenges differentiating between right and wrong. How can we expect or is it even fair to expect the kids to know? It really takes time and experience to know what is right and what is wrong, not to mention that what is right in one situation might not be right in another.


“Help! My sweet, nice, lovely 3-year-old has begun lying to me. What should I do?”

First thing you should do is feel pleased, maybe even proud that your child is learning how to lie.

“Whaaat? You’ve got to be kidding”

No, I’m serious. Lying is a milestone in cognitive development. It indicates 3 things:

1. Your child understands what you’re thinking. (i.e. Mom doesn’t like it when I eat a cookie before dinner.)

2. Your child knows the rules and understands what is likely to happen if she breaks them. (i.e. Mom will yell at me.)

3. Your child has the ability to create an answer that’s different from the truth. (i.e. No, I didn’t eat the cookie; the dog must have eaten it.).

“But I can’t be pleased about her lying. She doesn’t even show any remorse when I catch her in the lie. I’d hate it if she grew up to be a liar or to have no moral compass. Don’t I have to drill morality into her while she’s young, so she understands it from the get-go?”

Slow down. A young child’s lies are based on logic, creativity and fun – not morality. If your 3-year-old son lies about brushing his teeth, he thinks it makes a lot of sense. If Dad believes him, then he won’t have to do something he doesn’t want to do.

If your 3-year-old daughter insists she had a peanut and jelly sandwich (no, not peanut butter, but a big giant peanut - so big she could hardly bite it), she is not lying. She is exercising her creativity and having a bit of fun with you in the process.

At some point, of course, parents need to teach their children that they shouldn’t lie. But don’t expect kids to get the concept in its entirety. For kids, lying is a tricky, contradictory notion – even though parents tend to present it as a black and white matter.

Learning about the “rights” and “wrongs” of lying takes time.

First, kids have to learn and appreciate the “pro-social” lie that is typically encouraged by parents. (“Even if you don’t like it, it’s nice to tell Grandma you like the toy she bought you.")

Second, kids must deal with the lies they hear you tell (“I don’t want to take the call. Tell him I’m not home.”)

Third, kids need to discriminate between manipulative lies (those that can cause great harm) and little white ones (those that cause no harm.)

Fourth, kids need to know that telling a lie to take unfair advantage of a situation is different morally from telling a lie to protect yourself.

Fifth, kids need to differentiate between an honest or careless mistake and a manipulative lie.

And sixth, they need to appreciate the difference in character development between a person who tells a lie on occasion from a person who lies indiscriminately.

So parents, if you think that your parenting skills are not up to par because your child tells a lie on occasion, relax. All kids lie. Indeed, a kid who always has to tell the truth – and all details of the truth – has a greater problem than a child who understands the complex nature of lies, and can differentiate between social lies, white lies, malicious lies and lying indiscriminately.

Copyright 2008

Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice who specializes in helping people enrich their lives, enhance their relationships and overcome self-defeating patterns of behavior. For comments or questions, contact her at lsapadin@drsapadin.com

About the author: Linda Sapadin, Ph.D., psychologist, author, and motivational speaker, is known for her sharp insights and exceptional ability to provide timely yet timeless advice. Her specialty is helping people build competence, overcome procrastination, master fear and vanquish self-defeating patterns of emotions and behavior.

Dr. Sapadin has had extensive media experience, appearing on the Today Show, National Public Radio, Voice of America and a host of other TV and radio programs. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, USA Today, Newsday, The Washington Post, Prevention, Redbook, Men’s Health, and many other publications.

Dr. Sapadin has been an invited speaker to the Smithsonian, the American Psychological Association, and many other business and educational organizations. She is the author of PsychWisdom, a weekly advice column published online. To subscribe, visit www.PsychWisdom.com.

Check out our special offers at SkinStore.com!

Labels: , , ,

Stumble It!

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Nurturing Your Child’s Greatest Asset

Do you remember when we were young, the sky wasn't the limit? I would like to share a quotation by George Bernard Shaw (Irish literary Critic, Playwright and Essayist. 1925 Nobel Prize for Literature, 1856-1950), "You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?'" Our imagination is only hampered by the limitations we created in our minds. If we put our imaginations to good use, our possibilities are limitless!

Imagination is one of the greatest traits human beings possess. From creative minds come works of art and advances in technology and science. In fact, imagination touches every aspect of our lives whether we realize it or not. But much like other characteristics of the human mind, imagination must be nurtured and practiced before its full potential can be reached.

Nurturing imagination takes place early in one's life, especially in children around the age of four or five. Can you think back to your own childhood and remember playing “cops and robbers” or “house?” When you took part in these pretend games and reenactments, you were allowing your mind’s creativity to expand and flourish.

Pretend play in children is a beneficial way to help a child learn to expand their understanding of who they are and what they like. It also helps them better grasp the knowledge of the world around them. Pretend play even helps children with communication skills, either with adults or with their own peers.

Pretend play’s earlier stages occur in the infant and toddler years. Babies are learning how to develop motor skills and react to bodily sensations. Toddlers are beginning to comprehend objects and what their functions are in the world. As time progresses a child is able to build on these learning experiences and expand their play. They do this by incorporating the personal and symbolic experiences they have seen in their short lifetime into a pretend scenario.

When children take part in pretend play, they tend to recreate family-related themes. If a child is playing with peers, roles are usually assigned and conflicts may be created and resolved by the participants. Pretend play can also be a solitary experience for the child. Instead of role playing, the child uses miniature cars, people and houses to recreate situations of all kinds.

Whether a child is playing with peers or alone, the scenarios recreated often represent a child’s interpretation of the world around them. Seeing conflicts among adults or other peers can be incorporated into pretend play. A child may try to resolve the conflict and produce his or her own desired outcome.

Adults play an active role in a child’s pretend play. Being around to supervise younger children is a good idea to make sure play time is always safe. Sometimes conflicts can arise among children, and adults need to intervene and keep things under control. Adults can also provide materials children can use for pretend play, making sure they are safe and age-appropriate.

By engaging in a child’s pretend play, adults help convey to kids how important playtime is and encourage imagination. Adults can help give children ideas on how to expand on their pretend play and let them explore all sorts of fun and creative possibilities. And because play can encourage communication, adults learn a great deal about a child just by watching or interacting in their pretend play.

Pretend play is important for a child’s development, and there are countless tools and toys to help children explore their own creativity. Encourage your child to take part in pretend play and watch imaginations take flight.

About the Author, Veronica Scott: Learn more about the fascinating world of miniatures. Visit http://www.themagicaldollhouse.com today for a great selection of wooden doll houses and dollhouse accessories from top miniature companies.

Access your PC while traveling with WebEx PCNow.
Try It FREE

Labels: , , , , , , , ,

Stumble It!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

3 Tips That Will Help Control Your Child's Behavior

In this article, I find the first tip especially true. I attended a seminar previously and in that seminar there is a saying, "Kids don't do things you asked them to do, they do things on seeing what you do." In other words, kids model after what you do.

Mood, like attitude, is contagious. When you are around happy people, naturally you will feel happy and vice verse when you are around unhappy people. And if you are around negative people, you will be influenced with their negative attitude. Our mind is our greatest asset that we have and we must guide it against any negativity.


You live a stressful life, what with work demands, shopping, paying the bills, friends, family, hobbies and everything else! And now, your child or children are driving you crazy. You come home, hoping to relax and have a peaceful environment, and the kids are out of control. Can't they see you're stressed? Oh, yes, they see. Maybe not consciously, but more on a subconscious level.

TIP # 1--Your Child Mirrors Your Mood

Your child or children pick up on your mood. So, when your stressed, angry, or frustrated, they are more likely to be that way, too. It's not something the child does on purpose, it's a natural reaction. Think about when your husband or wife is in a bad mood. If you're around them for any time, pretty soon you are in a bad mood, too. It works the same way with you children. They receive their cues from you! As difficult as it may be sometimes, it is important, if you want to alleviate the tension and chaos from your household, to project a calm and positive manner to your child.

TIP # 2-- You Are The Adult

Sounds silly, but time after time, I have seen a mother or father treat their child as if they had the mind of an adult. Children, even teenagers, do not have the development of their brain to comprehend completely the consequences of their actions. Children are self-absorbed. They are only thinking of their world, their immediate needs. When a parent gives their child too many choices, or tells them to do something and expects them to 'fill in the missing pieces' of the action required of them, the child is going to be frustrated, fail, act out, or disappoint you. Not on purpose, but because they don't have the knowledge, experience or development to be able to acceptably complete the task correctly or to your satisfaction.

This, of course, stress' you out and you probably take it out on your child. But, think about what happened. Did you explain to your child every step he or she needed to do in order to successfully complete what you wanted? Or did you assume they would inherently know what to do?

TIP #3--Your Child Needs And Wants Structure

Young children to teenagers feel more secure and comfortable with structure and routine. They need to know what to expect and when to expect it. It is reassuring to them. When a child is an environment where activities, schedules, rules routines are constantly changing, the child will constantly be in a state of tension and, possibly, anxiety. Your child will behave in the ways you wish him or her to, when your child has developed a routine of acceptable behavior because you have created that structure and routine.

What this means is that, as hectic and busy as the family schedule may be, you must make an effort to make a structured schedule and stick to it, at least 70% of the time. Dinner at a set time, homework to be completed before fun with the electronic games. Maybe cell phones in a basket until chores are done. If you have been running your family environment chaotic, the change to routine and structure needs to be implemented, not all at once, but gradually. First, family dinner at a set time, then bed time, and so on.

It's not going to be easy or an overnight turn around for your family life to change. Remember, you are the one in control of making it happen. Your children do want to please you! They aren't happy either when they are acting out or out of control. The sooner you start understanding your child's motivation and needs and creating an environment that supports those positively, the sooner your family life will be a joy to come home to.

About the Author, Kate Carpenter: Get over 3000 of all the resources and tools you need to support and help you create a pleasant and happy home at http://www.squidoo.com/GainControl

See all Coupons & Sales at BabyCenter

Labels: , , , ,

Stumble It!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

How To Stop Your Child From Biting Others

I was at my sister's house today when I witnessed my nephew trying to bite the nanny because the nanny wanted to take away a piece of diaper that he was playing with. That action brought him a light pinch on the face and scolding from my sister which immediately sent him wailing. I reprimanded my sister; Not for giving my nephew his due punishment but for not explaining to him why he was being punished. I found this article quite interesting and probably you, and even I, can make used of some of these information provided in the article.

Parents are often dismayed and outraged when a playmate at daycare or on the playground bites their child. If your child is the biter, feelings of despair, anger, and helplessness may lead to a series of ineffectual punishments and interventions. What can you do to discourage your little biter?

The Root of the Problem

Toddlers often bite out of frustration or anger. If their basic needs such as hunger, thirst, toileting, nap time, and attention from an adult are unmet, the resulting frustration brings on a bite. Meeting these basic needs puts a stop to many occurrences of biting.

Countless children bite playmates during altercations over a toy, a snack, a pacifier, or a position on an adult’s lap. It is a defensive, self-protective action. Teaching the child to deal with his feelings in an acceptable manor ends this type of biting.

Some children bite as a way to bully others. This is a behavior problem exhibited by strong willed children. Prompt intervention is required. Firmly explain to the child that this is not acceptable behavior and that you will not tolerate biting.

Intervention

It is important to address every biting occurrence when it happens. Waiting to intervene until a behavior pattern develops makes putting a stop to biting harder for you and the child.

• Firmly tell the child that biting is not nice and that he is not to do it again.

• Provide immediate consequences for the behavior. Remove the child from the play area. Initiate a time out or withdraw a favorite snack, privilege, or toy. Be sure that the child is aware that the punishment is a direct result of biting. Ask them why the punishment occurred so they have clearly understood it's because of biting. Provide reminders that further biting will result in undesirable consequences.

• Instruct the child to apologize for biting. Explain that biting hurts both physically and emotionally.

• If biting occurs with an older child, ask the child why they felt the need to bite. He or she may be able to tell you what feelings or actions led up to the incident.

• Teach your child constructive ways to deal with frustration and feelings of anger. Have them kick a ball outside, talk about their feelings, switch activities, or seek out the soothing comfort of a favorite toy or blanket.

• Provide praise and reward for every instance your child handles a period of frustration or anger without biting.

• Be consistent with punishment for biting. Instruct other caregivers what to do when biting occurs and create a unified front. Never allow biting to slip by unpunished.

• Biting your child is not recommended. This models unwanted behavior and confuses the child. If it is OK for you to bite him, why is it unacceptable for him to bite another child?

You can stop biting behavior with consistent, early intervention. Set clear behavior expectations and understandable, age-appropriate consequences for biting. Balance punishment with positive praise when your child chooses to react appropriately instead of biting. Balance punishment with positive praise when your child chooses to react appropriately instead of biting.

About the Author, Lily Morgan: Find helpful and creative ideas for parents and grandparents while you shop a great selection of kids furniture and classic toys. Visit us online at http://www.TheMagicalRockingHorse.com today!

All major brands of skincare and makeup, with free worldwide shipping, from StrawberryNET.com

Labels: , , , , , ,

Stumble It!

Monday, January 21, 2008

10 Ways To Make Learning More Fun For Children

Traditional ways of learning required a teacher, a chalkboard,a desk, a ruler, pencil, and a textbook. A teacher with a stern, professional posture stood before the room with barely a smile on her face as she taught her class. This was the image seen in many movies and some adults actually had her in their class many years ago. She or he may have conducted a rather boring class, spending a lot of time talking over your head or talking to the chalkboard. The teacher restricted the class to textbook studies only and quizzes and tests every week.

Every now and then it was a real treat for students to watch a movie in her class, even if it was boring and the film jumped around on the screen. As for field trips, forget about it, students were lucky if they got to have an additional recess from time to time. Then when test time came, the worksheets seemed to be as old as them. Oftentimes a student, with a raised arm, would say, “I can’t read number 15. ”Then other students would nod or murmur in agreement. It would be a long school year in Mr. or Ms. XYZ’s class.

Years ago the Internet didn’t exist so we will just excuse Ms. XYZ for not having readily accessible information that could give her the ideas to stimulate her students. She may have been too busy grading papers or tending to her own family. Whatever her excuse, she has none nowadays. There are plenty of websites, articles, and other ways to make learning fun for children. The following suggestions may help you as a parent, who would like to assist your children or the teacher, stimulate her skills while making life more interesting for her class.

1. When beginning a new subject or topic to teach, why not decorate the class related to a theme. For instance, if you will be teaching about dinosaurs, why not have posters hanging in your classroom about dinosaurs?

2. Provide something fun related to your topic that children could take home to color, solve a puzzle or show off such as stickers or a colorful book that they can keep.

3. Always have an interesting DVD ready to “kick off” a new subject.

4. Set a time during the day, maybe Friday, where the students are required to work on a project together related to the topic. Students could try to piece a puzzle together, watch a video and write or draw what they really like from it, or play a game that will help them remember what you have taught them.

5. You may want a speaker to come in and talk about the subject other than you. Find out from parents if they know someone that would be willing to come to the classroom to speak on the topic you are teaching. Have the speaker bring something with them that will help the students remember his or her visit.

6. Talk with other teachers about what you are doing and maybe they would be willing to help you. They may be interested in getting their class to participate.

7. Research your local community on events that will aid you in your teaching. There may be a “free zoo day” and you just happened to be teaching on animals.

8. Watch out for sales. Sometimes products you may need to accompany your topic can be purchased at a reasonable price.

9. Tell parents both verbally and physically how you can use their input.

10. Visit online forums, blogs or create your own social networking profile to connect with other teachers to exchange ideas.

About the Author: Nicholl McGuire, Freelance Writer and mother of four
http://wanttohavechildren.blogspot.com/

Buy Knowledge Adventure Products, Get 10% Off Your Order, Use Promo Code Adventure10

Labels: , , , ,

Stumble It!

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

What Parents Can Do To Fight Obesity In Children

Obesity in children has been growing at an alarming rate in some developed countries. Children nowadays are also spending less time exercising and more time in front of the TV, computer, or video-game console. And today's busy families have fewer free moments to prepare nutritious, home-cooked meals, day in and day out. From fast food to electronics, quick and easy seems to be the mindset of many people, young and old, in the new millennium.

As mentioned by Dr Trisha Macnair, "Obesity is the state of being seriously overweight - to a degree that affects your health. Obesity in childhood is linked to many health complications and tends to indicate the child will be obese as an adult." Since Obesity affects the well being of our children, we really have to look into how we can prevent Obesity in Childhood and a lot of time, it really starts with us.


Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’re well aware of the huge coverage in the media, especially television, regarding the rapidly growing rate of obesity in children.

Even more painfully obvious is the fact that although our presumed awareness has increased, the actions taken to address this issue have not.

The phrase “you are what you eat” is painfully true, especially when dealing with obesity in children. So, if the assumption is made that as parents or adults, our awareness of the problem is there, then why aren’t we seeing a decrease in obesity in children rather than the reverse?

The truth is, children don’t do the weekly shopping for groceries, and they don’t cook the meals. So where is the food coming from? Who is the person responsible for bringing the food into the home? Children will eat what is available and they will no doubt scream if they don’t get all the fast food and junk food they desire, but who is the parent and who is running the show? Obesity in children is a serious issue that can and will cause health issues for these young people.

Admittedly, kids can wear the best of parents down but at the end of the day, their physical future is just as important or even more so, then their educational and vocational future. So, let’s review some tactics that might help over time.

Control the Amount on the Plate

It's no wonder that obesity in children is on the rise when you see the servings of food considered normal. Average portions served in fast food outlets and in many family restaurants have more than doubled since the 1950’s. As a result, the public has come to believe that these huge portions are in fact average, or normal. They are not. Portions served in Asia and Europe are considerably smaller and the results are obvious. If you find yourself at a fast food outlet and the kids are screaming, now’s the time for compromise. Get the smaller servings or share the servings between a couple of them. Be sure to avoid the sugared drinks and this includes fruit juices. Even though they are low in fat and sugar does not contain fat, sugar is stored as fat if not burned up with exercise.

Encourage the kids to eat slower. Perhaps engage them in conversation over the meal so they slow down. By eating at a slower pace, it give the brain time to get the message from the stomach that it is in fact full. What About Between Meals?

Let’s face it; kids can be bottomless pits when it comes to satisfying their appetites. It may seem difficult at first, but keeping the junk food out of the house is a good place to start. If it can’t be avoided, then only have small amounts in the house at any one time and perhaps only allow them once a day or every other day as a treat.

Many people suggest more fat free choices but if they are manufactured food, then what is usually done is more sugar is added o help the flavor and this can in fact be worse than the normal fat.

Natural, unprocessed food should always be the first choice. Fruit and veggies, already cut up and ready for the kids to grab is very handy and kids will get used to it. Even peanut butter on oat bran bread is a much better choice than cookies and candy.When kids are hungry enough, they’ll eat what’s available so make their choices healthier.Obesity in children can impact every area of their lives, including relationships with others.

No More Couch Potato

Activity is the name of the game. Having an electronic babysitter in the form of TV, computer and video games, although sometimes unavoidable for your sanity, really can contribute to obesity in children. If they don’t want to go outside and play, or do sports, then compromise and put in video games that are activity oriented, like learning to hiphop or learn other dances. Even exercise videos can be fun.

Instead of driving to places that are within walking distance, walk. This provides good exercise and gets the children outside in the fresh air.

Obesity in children is a huge problem and requires the attention of those people who are responsible for their care. The physical well being of children is just as important as their education because what kind of future will they have if it is negatively impacted by obesity and the serious medical complications that go with it? What kind of future will they have then?

Explore Weight Loss option through Hypnosis.


About the Author, Deb Marsden: Overcoming Childhood Obesity is one of the greatest challenges faced today. Available resources can be found here. http://getobesityfacts.com/

Labels: , , , ,

Stumble It!

Friday, October 19, 2007

Co-Sleeping: Is It For You? By Lily Morgan

Many new parents prepare for a baby's arrival by purchasing a crib. Some children, though, never seem to be able to sleep well in the crib. They fuss, they cry, and the only place they seem able to sleep is in a parents arms or lying next to them in a bed. That's the point where parents start to look for any solution to get some rest. Co-sleeping may be the answer.

Co-sleeping isn't a new concept. Many other countries have parents bringing their children to sleep in their own bed. Babies sleep better and longer, and parents do as well. Some cultures are even a little amazed that the Western world puts their children in "cages" to sleep. Our society waffles between experts who claim co-sleeping is a bad habit that will be difficult to break and experts who believe co-sleeping to be the best arrangement for all.

The benefits of co-sleeping have been proven. For breastfeeding mothers, co-sleeping with a child allows for easier feeding. Both mother and child can attend to needs while resting without much disturbance. There is no full waking with a need to cry for the child to receive attention. For tired parents, co-sleeping creates harmonized sleep patterns in which baby and mother tend to slumber and wake at the same periods. The increased contact of a familial bed also promotes attachment parenting, reassurance and comfort. Co-sleeping may also help prevent SIDS.

A familial bed is just as safe as having babies sleep in a crib. Of course, it is important for parents to ensure maximum safety by choosing a firm mattress, removing loose, fluffy bedding and installing a baby gate or setting the bed next to a wall. These safety precautions are the same for children who sleep in a crib; there is a gate, mattresses are firm, and there is often little bedding involved. In either case of crib-sleeping or co-sleeping, pillows are removed.

Co-sleeping should only be practiced in a household where parents are non-smoking and do not abuse drugs or alcohol. It is a myth that children who co-sleep with parents are at a greater risk of suffocation.

It is also a myth that children who co-sleep won't leave the family bed to gain independence. Think about this: How many teens do you know that sleep with their parents? Children will want to leave the family bed. Most parents report that children are more than willing to have their own bed at around ages two to three, when they are ready, physically, emotionally and mentally.

The point is to establish a situation that ensures the best rest possible for all involved, whether it be co-sleeping or crib sleeping. If the situation isn't working for one or all, change it. Being close to the people we love most isn't a habit
that needs to be broken, nor is getting a good night's sleep supposed to be a struggle. What's important is a trusting, harmonious relationship at all times, during waking hours or sleeping ones!

About the Author: Find helpful and creative ideas for parents and grandparents while you shop a great selection of kids furniture and classic toys. Visit us online at
http://www.themagicalrockinghorse.com/ today!

Save up to 20% off Arm's Reach Co-Sleepers this week only.
AnniesCostumes.com: It's More fun in Costume!
Natural Area Rugs - Lowest prices - Save up to 80%! Satisfaction guaranteed

Labels: , , ,

Stumble It!

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Help Your Child Succeed in School

Copyright © 2007 Sally Goldberg, Ph.D.

Q. If you had to pick one strategy for helping your child to succeed in school, what would that be?

A. Self-esteem building. That holds the key.

A new school year is synonymous with a new beginning. "Get off to a good start" is what every parent says to every child. "Set up good study habits; make good friends; get good grades." These are all dreams of both parent and child. They sound good, and they are good; but they are only as good as your child feels about him/herself. Feelings of self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence are the foundation for making these kinds of successes happen.

Here's how you can help...

1. Show your child respect and appreciation. Respect your child as you say, "Please...," and appreciate your child as you say, "Thank you." It turns out that the way to teach your child to say "please" and "thank you" is to say "please" and "thank you" to your child.

2. Help your child uncover his own uniqueness. Take as much time as you can to delight in your child's individuality. Your child is the one and only person like he/she is. No one else has been born into the world like your child. Have fun helping your child discover his/her own personal passion, potential, and place in the world.

3. Change the word "misbehavior" to "mistaken behavior." What do we know about mistakes? We learn from them. Teach your child as much as possible how not to make the same mistakes again.

4. Help your child to learn, to do, and to be all he/she can. Reserve praise for major accomplishments, but encourage your child by noticing and reflecting back to him/her about small occurrences. You can show your awareness by reinforcements like:

"I noticed you finished your reading assignment. You are responsible."

"I saw you open the door for your brother. That was helpful."

"I watched you put your favorite toy away. You handled it carefully."

Every small step is worthy of recognition as a major step toward further success.

Being the best at something is a respectable goal. However, doing the best you can comes first. Focus on your child's capability and strength. Notice his/her individuality. Help your child learn better behavior. Encourage him/her to succeed. What you think of your child is what your child will think of him/herself. Believe in your child; think positive; think strong. Self-esteem on the inside manifests itself in school success on the outside. Enjoy your partnership.

About The Author:

Sally Goldberg, Ph.D., is a professor of education at the University of Phoenix and parenting specialist. Through her books, articles, presentations, and one-on-one coaching she empowers parents to solve problems. She gives weekly parenting classes in different locations in Scottsdale, AZ. If you would like to contact Dr. Sally, you can reach her at 480-766-6323 or
drsally@drsallyparenting.com Find out more at http://www.drsallyparenting.com/

Labels: , , , ,

Stumble It!

Friday, March 23, 2007

Easy Ways To Teach Your Child About Colors

The world is a kaleidoscope of color, and teaching your child about colors is fundamental to their learning process, right? To assist you, here are some tips to help your child recognize and identify colors.

· When dressing your child; say the color of the outfit.

· Take out some fruit and place it on the kitchen table. Sit the child on your lap and point to each fruit; naming the color.

· When you go for a walk with your child, point out the different color flowers.

· Using the wide variety of child’s books that are available; specifically picture books that are very colorful, point out the colors.

· Purchase a large box of crayons, and using white paper to scribble on, repeat the name of each color crayon you use.

· Purchase a package of multicolored construction paper.

Babies love anything that’s colorful. Whether its balloons, toys, stuffed animals, dolls or blocks – they seem to hone in on bright colors such as red, blue and yellow. With Easter soon approaching, it is the perfect time to introduce them to a myriad of colors via Easter eggs. Another approach is to take them to a park where all of the swings and see-saws are brightly colored. Or a stroll in your garden is another perfect to show them bright colors as well.

As your child points to an object, verbalize the color and what the object is as well. Keep repeating the color over and over as you point to it. If your child calls an object another color than what it is, just verbalize the correct color and eventually he or she will make the connection. Also, you can show your child different stuffed animals in a toy store which have brightly colored attire.

While these tips to help your child recognize colors are just the starting point, you can also use other tools which are also available in the learning process. Baby food is another way in which you can present colors to your child. If you take your child to the zoo; there are so many colors you can share with your child. Take out your tin of buttons. These are a wonderful tool to demonstrate different colors to your child. Also, if you use scrunchies, show them to your child as well. Making the association between the color and the object is an important component in the child’s learning process. It’s important to make it fun for the child. In this way, every association made will be invoke a happy memory later on.

About the Author: Nicole Dean co-created
http://www.kidsactivitycalendar.com to help her child and others prepare for Kindergarten in a fun way. To get your free sample lesson, stop by http://www.kidsactivitycalendar.com/letter-a-sample.htm today.

Labels: , ,

Stumble It!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Gardening with Children

Starting a small garden with your child or grandchild is an excellent way for children to learn to learn how to care for the environment and gain an appreciation for the many birds and insects with whom we share our gardens. Tending a garden also serves as an introduction to the changing weather patterns and the seasonal cycles of nature from planting the seed, harvesting (e.g. eating the vegetables, picking and drying the flowers or collecting the seed) and then preparing for the next season. They also learn an important life lesson in responsibility. If they don't water and nourish the plants they can die through lack of attention.

If you can, With your child decide what kind of garden your child would like - butterfly, herb, flower, vegetable etc. To make the project more fun and real buy child sized gloves, planting tools, wheelbarrow and watering can.

Sketch a plan for the garden and mark off the area in the garden. Maybe a flower garden around a playhouse or a small vegetable patch they can call their own.

Turn the soil breaking up any lumps and condition with organic compost if necessary.

If you don't have a suitable area of ground use container pots, planter boxes, or even an old half wine barrel will do.

Children can get interested in gardening from a very young age and with a little encouragement discover this fun hobby while enjoying the two things they love - dirt and outdoors.

With very young children it is easier to grow flowers directly from seed. The roots on seedlings easily become damaged as they take them from the pots and transplant into the soil.

Let children choose their own plants and look for easy germinating types such as Cosmos, Snapdragons or the all time favourite Sunflowers. Bulbs are also a great favourite amongst young children but they can be typically impatient waiting for the bulbs to sprout and grow.

For vegetables - carrots, peas and strawberries tend to be a favourite as they are easy to grow and great to eat. One study found that when four-and five-year-olds spent about 30 minutes a week for eight weeks tending a garden, they were more likely to eat their vegetables. A challenge for most parents.

Create a garden journal and take photos as the project progresses so your child will have something to remember over the winter months until the next season begins.

Copyright © Netwrite-Publish Home & Garden.For more ideas for home, garden and everyday living visit http://www.netwrite-publish.com


Author: Jill Black
Title: Gardening with Children
Email: jillbnwp@yahoo.com

Labels: , ,

Stumble It!

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

How You Can Be a Better Parent

I got this article in my email which I would like to share with you. It is important to note as in the article that every child is different and should not be treated exactly the same way. There may be a certain guidelines or ways to treat certain child or situation in a certain way but there should be some flexibility in apply these guidelines and ways. The other thing which I totally agree with the author is that we better watched what we do or said as our children will be watching us. As the quotation goes, "children do not do things that we asked them to do, they do things which we did."

by Joseph Then

When it comes to parenting tips how are you going to know if you are going to receive the right kind of response to what your question may be. In reality you don’t know if you are getting the right answer because each and every child is different as well as the situation that they are in and having.

When you are looking for a little bit of parenting advice you may want to look a friend that did have the same problem that you are having and talk to them about what some solutions that they could have found that did work. You are even able to talk to your doctor about any problems that you are having with your children, they are going to help steer you in the right direction. They may be even able to let you know of someone that is going to help you out with all the problems you are having at that time.

You may even receive a few different parenting tips from your family that could help you out with any problems you are having. One thing that you are going to want to remember is that your children is a big part of your life and they are going to copy everything that you are doing later in life. You are going to want to make sure that you watch what you do and say so that they do not repeat any and all of the situations you have been in.

The best parenting tip that I have ever received is that your children are a gift to you not a chore or burden to you. That is true because there are many people out there that are not able to have any children at all.

The bad part is that many of them that are unable to have children could and probable would be some of the best parents out there for children. You are really going to want to take some time to be with your child and try to understand what they are going through because some of the problems today are going to be completely different than when we were younger. That is because the times and technology has changed so much in the past years.

In conclusion, parenting is not an easy role to play. As a parent, you have a part in molding the next generation. Whether your children will be a useful person in the society or not will be up to you.

Labels: , ,

Stumble It!

Monday, March 05, 2007

Teaching Good Manners To Kids Is Not That Hard

We all have experienced one or more incidents of children crying and whining while their mothers have been searching the department store for that "fabulous" pair of shoes they saw on a television show. The truth is that you were annoyed and although you know that this was not the child's fault, you secretly disliked the kid and even more his mother, as she allowed it to annoy everyone and did not pay attention, as she should, to her toddler. That was rude and kids can be taught not to be rude.

I recall an incident that happened a long time ago when I was still a child. My parents took me to the beach since this was the only way to cool down that hot summer day; the temperature in Greece can reach very high levels during the summer. As we reached the point that would host our existence for the rest of the day, I remember my mother kneeling to assist me get rid of my clothes and help me prepare before running loose to play under the sun. I had to wear my lovely pink pair of plastic shoes, in order to avoid any injuries, my hat, which I thought it was rather funny, and a generous portion of sunscreen on my skin, to protect it from burning. That last part of the beach "ritual" I hated. I did not like the fact that I was feeling my skin being greasy or that water drops seemed to stack on my arms and legs. I immediately begun complaining while my mother was about to begin applying the lotion, when my father turned to me and said "I know you hate it. I do too. But, first nobody here wants to hear you complain. They came to relax and enjoy the sun. Second, we have explained to you that the sun is dangerous and your skin is still very white. If you do not let your mother finish the application, you will later hurt all over and you will not be able to come with us again here tomorrow."

I immediately stopped. I still remember my father's face. He was not yelling nor threatening me. He just stated the simple truth. My skin would burn and as I looked at other families on the beach I realized that kids who have burned their skin, because they did not allow their parents to protect them, were miserably looking at other kids playing while they had to stay under the shadow of an umbrella and do nothing.

Whether your child has a serious concern or is just bored and tired, you can help it understand that crying and screaming will not assist its situation. By realizing that if you treat your child as if you were speaking to an adult, using simpler wording and examples they can relate to of course, your kid will mature sooner and respect others peace and quite; yours included.

About the Author: Kadence Buchanan writes articles on many topics including
Family, Kids And Teens, and Computers

Labels: , ,

Stumble It!

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Teaching Kids Responsibility

I certainly agree with the author that when we are teaching our kids, we need to watch our own behavior too. I remember quotation which goes, "kids don't do things we tell them to do, they do the things we did.

Your garage sale is advertised to open at 7:00 and customers are lined up outside, but Lisa hasn’t arrived with the cash box full of change. Your grant proposal has to be in the mail today but the financials haven’t arrived yet. Your son’s church group couldn’t go to the concert they had planned to attend because two of the adult drivers/chaperones didn’t show up.

Irresponsible people are just plain irritating! Those of us who are responsible are left shaking our heads, cleaning up the mess, and saying to each other, “How can people behave like that?” One thing is for sure—we don’t want our children to grow up like this! We want them to be people we can count on—people who do what they say they’re going to do; who meet their family, work, social, and volunteer obligations; and who show up on time and prepared. And by teaching them to be responsible from a young age, we can help ensure they will grow to be responsible adults.

Teaching children responsibility can be a parenting challenge. It starts out with teaching your children how to do small tasks and chores around the house. Two-year-olds can do simple jobs like getting the newspaper from the driveway, taking their breakfast bowl to the sink, and putting clean socks in a drawer. And at this age, it’s delightful to have children help because they are so happy and eager to be of use! As children get older, you can increase their responsibilities. Older children can load and unload the dishwasher, take out the trash, make their beds, and put dirty clothes in the hamper. And teenagers ought to be able to do a load of laundry and make a simple meal.

Unfortunately, your two-year-old’s eagerness to help will soon dissolve into whines and attempts at procrastinations. It will help if you can work together on chores and rotate the “nasty” chores so no one is stuck with them all the time. Your kids may also respond to chore games or sticker charts as motivation.

Would it be faster and easier for you to do these jobs yourself? Of course! And they would probably be done better too. But then you would lose out on the opportunity to develop your children’s sense of responsibility and to teach them valuable survival skills.

Helping out around the house is only one aspect of responsibility children need to learn. They also need to learn to be responsible for themselves. Encourage young children to dress themselves as soon as they old enough to do so. When your children start going to school, expect them to be responsible for their own homework—both doing it and turning it in. Is it okay to occasionally take a forgotten math assignment to school? Sure—I have forgotten papers I needed before and my husband gallantly rescues me. Is it okay to do it every day? Absolutely not! That is a signal of irresponsibility and you need to work with your child to find out what the problem is and how to solve it.

Finally, you need to help your children learn to be responsible in dealing with other people. If they join a sports team and later want to quit it, remind them that they have an obligation to the rest of the team to finish out the season. If they have a group project at school, ensure they complete their part of the project. Help them learn to budget their time so they don’t take on responsibilities they can’t finish.

Don’t expect that your children will automatically know how to do all the tasks you give them. You will need to teach and reteach them how to sort laundry and pack their backpacks each night. You will have to give them gentle reminders to practice the piano or study for their math test. Be patient and confident that your lessons are sinking in, whether it seems that way or not. Your payback will come in a few years in the shape of a responsible adult.

By the way, as you work on teaching responsibility to your children, you better check out your own behavior too (isn’t that always the way?). No matter how much you talk about responsibility to your children, if they see you behaving irresponsibly, that is the message they will absorb. So, ask yourself the following questions:

- Do I do tasks in a timely way?
- Am I usually on time?
- Do I keep my word?
- Do I give projects my best effort?

If you can’t answer “yes” to these questions, then work on improving your own behavior so you will be a better role model for your children.

Copyright 2007 More4kids Inc. - www.more4kids.info

About the Author: Stacey Schifferdecker is the happy but harried mother of three. a freelance writer, and Children’s Minister. You can view her many articles on
parenting at More4kids - a parenting and family resource.

Read this too Teaching Toddlers To Do Household Chores

Labels: , , ,

Stumble It!